Gone to seed

I live with privilege.  I have white skin, I'm (lower) middle class, I'm straight, I have insurance through my employer (the state legislators don't mind that I pay more for it each year, but anyway), I was born in this country, my parents were born in this country.  Overall, I probably won't be immediately affected by this country's wretched new president and his hateful policies.  But many people are being hurt by them, and that's not okay.

So far, the only thing I know that I can really do is educate my son and my students about empathy and inclusiveness, and also to call my representatives daily to let them know my thoughts on what is going on.  I do the former, though I have yet to do the latter.

I'll be honest, though.  The news wears me out.  And yes, it bothers me that because of my privilege, I feel okay staying away from the news.  The news making me sad and mad is so much easier than fearing deportation, than not being let into a country that claimed it would welcome you, than discrimination or toxic water or no healthcare.

So I'm not sure how to reconcile it.  I have to be okay myself in order to help others.  And I feel like I'm not okay when I take in too much of the negative from the media.  And really, it seems like that's all there is with this new administration - negative.

I don't have an answer.  For now, I have to keep avoiding it.  I have to.  I still feel like I only have enough for myself, my son, my family, and my job.

How do I get stronger?  How do I refill so that I have enough to be a part of the solution to this horrid person who's now running our country?  I'm not empty anymore.  I'm not crushed and buried.  But I'm tired.  Life wears me out as it is.  How do I energize?

I don't know.  I don't want to be silent.  But I have to take a break.  Which is a privilege, I know.