Over-watered

"Ghosts appear and fade away..."

Drifting in and out, so quiet.

I long to be outside with my feet in the cool grass and my head in the stars and the rest of me comfortably in between.  But I'm scared to do it alone.  The darkness is deep and the neighbors are rough, and the alone is a vacuum, or too heavy, or screaming in my head.

I had it earlier - a ghost by the toes - but it's gone now.  I had the air and the stars, with the windows down and the memory of the first summer nights on Market Street, with her books and her music.  There was a flow, too... a spring freshet...  But I looked away and it's gone again.

It will be back, yes, but I thought there would be more tonight.  More of me that's worthy of words.

And in slips another... a boy whose soul I saw for a moment, or a boy who pretended well enough to be believed.  I loved whatever it was.  I long for it still.  It's sad to not believe in him anymore.  

Would he care?

My heart's a haunted river tonight, passing the cool grass and the stars, far from her banks' friendly firelight.

And it's fine.